Nothing is linear

I know my poems sound glum most of the time

Like damn is she ever in a happy state of mind?

What's crazy is, im really not Eeyore all the time.

I feel my feelings,

writing it what helps me keep sane--

But few know my whole life my mind has been centered around this pain.

Even with the self awareness and my mindset change, 

the way I feel my feelings remains the same.

So i will say again writing is what helps me through the pain.

And when joy comes I bask in the moment, live in the present --

I don't capture these moments in poems, with words and lines.

I capture them with art, and change to my life.

I take photos to capture moments in real time 

I keep trinkets to trigger memories of those good times -- in case the memory slips to the back of the line

I take these moments and create change, im not just growing in age

but with wisdom changing for the better day to day.

With that being said, my feelings don't define me -- as big as they are.

They rise like like the tide, my body feeling every high and low

Like my mind as I continue to try and grow

Nothing is linear