I pray for him

My nights don't always end according to how I'd like

But they always end next to him

I look at him, sleeping

Something he rarely allows himself to do

His face still hardened by life as he lies there comatose with rain sounds in the background

I pray for him

I don't ask God to make him love me

I ask God to help him to love himself for all that he is and every decision that he has made

I don't ask God to keep me in his life forever

I ask him to guide me in ways to love him unconditionally for as long as I'm supposed to be in his life 

I don't ask God to fix him

I ask God to give him peace, to soften his heart, to turn his walls from brick to Styrofoam all in what is in his best interest to be his best self every day because we are not living if we are not learning and growing as people

I thank you God

I thank you for introducing us

I thank you for whatever it is in me that loves him so hard

I thank you for his tough love

I thank you for his personality and how he makes me laugh and how intelligent he is and how strongly he believes in you 

I thank you for the changes he has made 

I thank you for giving him patience to stay near my side and deal with all of me 

Ease his mind Lord

Heal his spirit

Guide him and 

Keep him safe 🙏